What the Fish!?: August 2007

A good day

You know life is slack when you wake up at 8.30am on a Wednesday morning and instead of fretting over being late for work, there is time for a cool shower before heading down to town for a simple breakfast in a t-shirt and berms.

Better still if you have a friend back from the Middle East and another who's about to head Down Under join you in observing poor office folks scutter all over the place. Great way to spend an idle morning. Do try it some time.

Check out my new ligament!

After suffering from a dodgy knee for nearly 6 years, I finally went for my knee reconstruction surgery last Friday. The surgery itself was quite uneventful as I was unconscious during the operation. Funny thing though, the staff in the Operating Theatre seem to be sponsored by Crocs - everyone was wearing them! It was quite an experience; a whimsical array of colors on the feet of those who would be cutting me up in moments..

I must admit that I was quite relieved to be unconscious during surgery. It was exactly like what you see on television - I was lying on this bed with the bright lights directly above me. There were about 5 - 7 people scuttering around me, poking all sorts of needles and stuff into me. Last thing I remember, the doctor was telling me that i was being sedated and another nurse was putting an oxygen mask over my mouth..

The next thing I know, it was over! Check out my elephant leg:

The plasters are covering the holes they drilled in my leg..

The One Where the Baby Cries

A colleague of mine brought her baby to the office today. Strangely enough, as the baby started to wail, the entire womenfolk was drawn to the cries and the whole office was gathered around the little one and her mum in no time.

Inevitably, something happened while Vivien was holding the baby, what she called "a vibration in the diapers". Louder cries duly followed as Regina and I fled for dear life!

Back at my desk, I heard noises at the workstation where our unpopular colleague dwells. Which is strange coz she is supposed to be on course today.. "Damn! I heard noises, she's back!" I msned Regina. "Think she's changed. We should be safe." was the puzzling reply I got.

Changed? Our colleague? Really? Then I realised. "D'oh! I wasn't referring to the baby!" Hahahahaha...

MineSweeper the Movie

For some reason the YouTube version is out of sync...

She who must not be named

It's the world's worst kept secret; I despise a certain someone. Here's why:

1. You are not a big deal. For all your ambition and boot licking ways, 10 years in the workforce without anything to show is an embarrassment.

2. You are neither young, pretty or charming. So quit acting cute. And NO, your hair does not look like an ah lian. If you must know, you look more like ah meng, only I like ah meng more.

3. You are amazing. Really. I've never met anyone who managed to offend the entire workplace. Your very existence offends me.

4. There is no need to act kantang when you are fluent in Chinese. Just be yourself. If its of any consolation, you resemble a sack of potatoes anyway.

5. So you want a room, an assistant and a husband. I can give you all three next month - it ain't that difficult to burn stuff..

6. Your book is not challenging. I have no wish to read your book just as I do not want to look at your face. They spoil my appetite.

7. Stop telling everyone you're snacking on healthy, non trans fat stuff. Its poor publicity. It's clearly not working for you.

8. Just because you attended a lousy course in IT doesn't mean you're tech savvy. Attending school sure as hell didn't make you smart at all..

9. If you keep up this nonsense one day even your imaginary friends will desert you..

10. I see three letters in your future. I. M. H.