She who must not be named

It's the world's worst kept secret; I despise a certain someone. Here's why:

1. You are not a big deal. For all your ambition and boot licking ways, 10 years in the workforce without anything to show is an embarrassment.

2. You are neither young, pretty or charming. So quit acting cute. And NO, your hair does not look like an ah lian. If you must know, you look more like ah meng, only I like ah meng more.

3. You are amazing. Really. I've never met anyone who managed to offend the entire workplace. Your very existence offends me.

4. There is no need to act kantang when you are fluent in Chinese. Just be yourself. If its of any consolation, you resemble a sack of potatoes anyway.

5. So you want a room, an assistant and a husband. I can give you all three next month - it ain't that difficult to burn stuff..

6. Your book is not challenging. I have no wish to read your book just as I do not want to look at your face. They spoil my appetite.

7. Stop telling everyone you're snacking on healthy, non trans fat stuff. Its poor publicity. It's clearly not working for you.

8. Just because you attended a lousy course in IT doesn't mean you're tech savvy. Attending school sure as hell didn't make you smart at all..

9. If you keep up this nonsense one day even your imaginary friends will desert you..

10. I see three letters in your future. I. M. H.